– The Need for Good Conversation in Marriage Counseling

Last Updated on January 6, 2014 by Chris Roberts

SOMETIMES MARRIAGES JUST NEED A GOOD TALK (NOT TALKING TO!!)

It’s no secret that Nashville marriage therapy sessions carry a significant weight and stress to them as couples enter therapy usually in a bad place.  Often marriage therapy is rife with tension as marriage partners dig into the unhealthy places of their lives.  This is an important part of marriage counseling and always will be.  But there are also times where just having a really good conversation with your spouse can be overwhelmingly comforting and relieving.

Marriage counseling at Two Trees Counseling Nashville with marriage therapist Chris Roberts incorporates both aspects of discussion.  There are usually unhealthy patterns that marriages have found themselves in that need to be addressed, but there is also a desperate need for an enjoyable connection that many couples miss out on regularly.  This is a normal part of life.  If you have children, you experience this lack of good conversation more than others.  Having children adds a significant level of strategic planning that reduces the overall time available to sit and enjoy each other.  As our lives become consumed with keeping our heads above water and making sure everyone else is taken care of, we often neglect the simplicity and benefits of connecting over a cup of coffee or a quality beverage.  The problem is that this is not just a logical, time-oriented equation.  As our lives enter into entrenched patterns of planning and logistical dilemmas, we become emotionally distant.  When we become emotionally distant, we begin to fear and resent our spouse, and we no longer trust that our spouse wants a good conversation as much as we do.

Marriage therapy in Nashville can become a quarantined area where the hussle and bussle of everyday life can be pushed outside, and we can focus our attention on the one we chose to spend the rest of our life with.  This focused attention doesn’t have to be spent just recounting our disappointments and frustrations.  Sometimes it does become this, and it is an important part of marriage therapy work.  But, if the conversation between spouses is as simple as discussing the joy of a walk in the park, then that conversation can become just as therapeutic.

Conversations are never taken for granted in marriage therapy.  Marriage therapists are all too familiar with the difficulty and complications of just trying to communicate with another human being.  We discussed in the previous article about marriage therapy in Nashville how two people never engage in conversations in the exact same manner.   Every person has their own unique style of talking and listening and understanding and paying attention.  The fact that humans can communicate at all is a miracle most people don’t appreciate.  Some people get highly anxious in the midst of intimate, highly connective conversations.  Some people have never had a really good, honest, simple conversation.  Some people believe there isn’t much value in having a good, quality conversation.  Just these 3 simple patterns can create havoc for trying to sit down with the one you love and enjoy your connection.

If you or your spouse has a deep fear of marriage counseling and the conflict that “must” be addressed during a session, please know that marriage therapists understand this hesitation.  A really good marriage counselor in Nashville TN knows that conflict and stress do not HAVE to be addressed for a session to be helpful and therapeutic.  If it has been a long time since you and your spouse sat down and had a delightful conversation with each, then that may be the very thing that you need to get your marriage back to a healthier state.